Friday, 22 July 2011

Aamir Khan's SMELLY ALLEY, a feel real film?


I really don't know whether all these wise men of the village are making a fun of me because I'm a deseemoron, or do they really mean what they're saying. They tell me that after the techno wonders like 3D and 5.1 surround sound etc, the film technology is on the threshold of another big leap and 'smell real' films are round the corner. They tell me that the theatres will gradually be nose sensitive with the installation of digitally compatible fragrance emitters. This, they proclaim, would mean that we as viewers would be transported to the 'real reel world'. By this, I mean; no no I mean, they mean that if you're amid the flower beds in Switzerland, you'll smell the real roses; or if the scene is in a halwai's (sweetmeat maker) kitchen, you'll smell the real mouth watering delcacies.

Now, they tell me that  Bollywood's celebrated Producer/Director/Actor Aamir Khan is going to be the first one to embark upon the path breaking nose sensitive film. They tell me that for the starter, he's going to upgrade his hugely successful film, DELHI BELLY in to a 3D, NS (nose sensitive) version, thus offering the never before realised experience of smelling the real shit, when it is so longingly laid out on the silken cloth in front of him by Vijay Raj the Don himself. Even the scene of cunnilingus underneath the quilt would have the real smelling juices, just as the emissions from Kunal Roy Kapoor's naked bum - shown in B.C.U. (big close up) will have smells of the 'real', with every one of his loudly roaring emissions.

But I beleieve that as usual, Hollywood is going to beat our whiz kid Aamir khan to it. They think that dear old Danny boy (Danny Boyle) has already started converting his mega success, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE, in to a 3D, NS version. Boy what a real experience it would be to all those Chanel sprayed noses, when the vagabond boy takes a dip in, you know what?

But, they say that our Aamir is already another step ahead. He's already going to announce his multi multi million dollar extraveganza as a 3D, NS venture titled "SMELLY ALLEY'. And you know what; the film is going to begin with a vey, very big BCU of our Kunal Roy Kapoor's big bum, just as DELHI BELLY.

Folks please tell me if it all is true or is it just a film industry bull s..., you know what I mean?


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