Sunday, 9 June 2013

Golden Gospel Gone Gobur...!

Hi folks here is your dear(?) old(?) Deseemoron once again with another one of his RSN.

I am sure, you would wonder as to what do I mean by "Golden Gospel"...?

Well, I am talking about the oft. repeated and much flaunted about wisdom that the gold is the safest and the most profitable investment. Such has been the madness about this age-old dictum that till only a few weeks ago, everybody was making a beeline to the gold souks or jewelery shops to horde whatever was possible of the yellow metal; if not in kilos, if not in grams, at least in ounces. Such was the frenzy as if the poor earth was going to spin off the orbit and the only conceivable consolation or shall I say panacea to escape the catastrophe...? Gold, gold and more gold! Media - especially electronic media too played full part in it by way of harvesting gold (profits) for itself through the shameless volley of ads, commercials etc. Consequently and inevitably the prices (why do I say prices...? Why not punishments?) went through the roof (or shall I say 'punishments' came hurtling down from the roof?).

"The punishment...?" "Yes sir, the punishment...!"
"What do you (I mean I) mean," you would say! "Right?"
"Yes, yes right..." You'd say.
Okay, let me explain. But for that can I first ask you Sir, as to whose good you were concerned about when you were going on the gold buying binge as if there wasn't going to be any tomorrow?
"Of course India", you would say. "I live in India, if I buy gold abroad it still comes to India, makes India richer. Likewise if I buy gold within India, it aids economic activity in India, boosts growth. Both ways it helps India, my India..." you will perhaps boast.

"Wrong, completely wrong on both counts..." I would say and would further argue that "Sir, you are simply been selfish, utterly selfish...Even a DESHDROHI - a betrayer of the nation, if I may say so!"
"How do I mean..?" Astounded, you'll demand in absolute shock.
Well let me explain in an ordinary man's terms.

1). Firstly, when you start hording gold through buying it in foreign markets, you are sponging on India's precious foreign exchange thereby depleting our foreign reserves and helping boost those of the foreign countries consequently putting pressure on our currency as is evident by consistently falling parity of the rupee.

2). Secondly, when you indiscriminately go on a buying binge, you create a frenzy for acquiring gold. As a result, not only the price goes unduly high, it robs the Indian industry of its rightful share of the investment. Because if your money or at least a part of it had gone into buying the shares of a company at the stock market or even directly invested in some venture, it would have boosted its production by way of modernising the plant and machinery, offering more jobs and consequently also generating more revenues for the government by way of income tax etc. which could have been used for welfare schemes; education, health, public transport etc. But by hoarding gold you helped only yourself, by either creating a false sense of security for your future or boosting a delusional sense of power or self-esteem, because it either sat as mere yellow bricks in your safe or glittering jewelery around your kin's neck, with no role in providing bread, clothing or roof for anybody.

3) But thirdly and most importantly, what you have certainly done by your indiscriminate gold hoarding is that you have inadvertently harmed the India growth story. Because (a) it sent Indian industry hurtling down towards sickness, thereby not only robbing people of jobs and security but (b) also unleashing a negative sentiment towards our economy  thereby making India less attractive even for foreign investor who would have created jobs for our people and revenue for our government.

But folks, as they say, the madness leads you to only one place; the mad house. Because then just as suddenly came the fall, the dizzying crash. The gold madness imploded on itself. And I would say rightly so. The so called nation lovers, the selfish predators suffered hugely but India was brought back from the precipice. But most importantly, in this instance of the "Golden Gospel Gone Gobur...!" we the middle, muddled class also have perhaps learned a valuable lesson that "our interest may or may not be India's interest, but India's interest most certainly is and shall be, our interest..."   


Yours as ever,


Tuesday, 1 January 2013

On the First Day of the NEW YEAR few things to ponder upon!

Hi All,

Here are some RSNs (road side nuggets) from who else, your Deseemoron; the village idiot...

* If a woman - young and voluptuous one in particular, moves about public-ally in revealing outfit - plunging bra; hipster saree or jeans; naval displaying & back baring mini-mini blouse or some such, she is not being provocative at all. Besides being completely within her rights to do so, if anything she is merely and of course innocently presenting nature's artistic creativity.

* Even if her assets are seemingly everywhere, men have no business to let their eyes stray over them, much less freezing into the current from them.

* Most men - nearly 99% of all menfolk, are civilised; they don't even look at them or realise that they can emit pelvic-bursting electricity under some situations; being civility driven they either look above them, under them, aside of them or even through them but never at them. That is rude, uncivil, offensive and mammal centric. Mammal centric? It's getting to me, you see.

* It's only about 1% men who are breasts-fixated about women. They are primal, primitive, archaic, crude, lecherous, dangerous, animalistic and..and..and. They should be flogged in public and hanged to death summarily.

* Likewise for the legs; what's such a big thing about them being exposed? They are the columns of female strength, not pillars of permissiveness as some of the regressive male chauvinists misrepresent. Hence if a gown with side slits or a mini-mini-mini skirt reveals them in their almost entire glory or sometimes even offers pubically, an accidental peek-a-boo, specially in a cross-legged sitting position, how does it matter? You should look through them with a clean eye but never with a dirty mind.

* And who says that the item numbers in the popular Bollywood films have anything to do with arousing the primal stirrings among the impressionable ones of the audience. How dare these small minds call such hugely popular pieces of creativity like, "Munni badnaam hui Darling tere liye...", "Seene se chipkale Saiyaan Fevicole se...", "Chiknee Chameli..." or the hero beckoning, "Jumma, chumma de de..." obscene or vulgar? Likewise, if a hero grabs a heroine's arm in public despite her apparent rejection of him or touches her all over despite her expressing her disapproval, under the propagation that 'every girl declines before falling in love', how awful of you to think that it is anything but art and emotion? AND,AND, AND..., if a road side Romeo thinks he can do the same thing in real life, he should be flogged or stoned or may be even hanged because it is essential to change the law to make 'eve teasing' also equivalent to 'rape'. After-all, there is a difference between 'real life' and 'reel life'!...

 But Sir, the question is how do you explain this to that idiot small town fellow who thinks of you as his God and worships your statue in 'REAL' life?

Have a happy NEW YEAR.

As ever the village idiot,