Thursday, 18 August 2011

All corruption is due to me; but Anna ji wont even talk to me!

Anna ji, I've been all around you all the time, but you never noticed me; much less talking to me. And I challenge you that you can not rid this country of any corruption, unless you address me first.

Who am I and what do I do? Well, let's take 'what do I do' first; a casual reckoning of my colourful  and smart acts to help me and my folks. Here we go:-

(1) I try to under-declare or not declare at all, the 'beyond the limit' valuables I bring with me from my visits abroad, to escape the duties or pay as little as possible, if forced to. And in this enterprise I don't hesitate to grease a palm or two among the custom officials, if need be. Of course sometimes, someone of my ilk also gets caught in the act, rather awkwardly, like this female actor colleague of mine who was all over the media for her mis-adventure. But Anna ji people should appreciate that her heart is at the right place; she supports your cause wholeheartedly. Doesn't she?

(2) I may be a big film star, a distinguished doctor, a top lawyer, a Chandni Chowk trader, a media personality or some such, tell me Anna ji, am I not entitled to save a few extra pennies for my fun and frolic or even my old age? And by the way, how do I do it unless I take a good part of my remuneration in  unaccounted 'cash'? And how does it matter if I persuade the I.T.O. concerned to not come up with too many queries about this matter by just making his palms a little extra slippery. The essential point is, do I not support your cause in public, on network television channels; and do I not cry hoarse with you for bringing back all the 'black' money stashed in Swiss banks?

(3) I strongly believe in 'good' education, hence I consider it perfectly justifiable to secure 'leaked' question papers from the 'resourceful' middle men, these moralists so much frown upon. After all how are you going to expand the numbers of the 'educated' masses for our expanding economy?

Okay, let me enumerate in brief, some more of my enterprising attributes:

(4) Being a firm believer of 'free' enterprise, I gladly though surreptitiously extend my house or business structure by annexing unauthorized areas, if the opportunity arrises. And if I get caught, you know what I do...Right!

(5) I under declare my assets to try and save on 'stamp duties' or inter-state tolls or levies on the mobility of my commodities where ever I can.

(6) I try and jump the queue for college admissions, for house allotments, for obtaining quotas of every kind and frankly even for paying obeisance to Gods at the religious places. And yes; you guessed it right. A little bit of grease and hands can really do wonders in displaying efficiency.

Truly Anna ji, there are so many layers, so many shades, so many complexions to my face that you would almost give up.

Now the first question Anna ji! Who am I?    

I am called, an "INDIAN' Anna ji. To me I come first and I come last Anna ji. Unless you drive 'I' out of me and inject a bit of an elixir called 'CHARACTER' in me, I am afraid you are going to fail miserably Anna ji. In fact, I'm sure you are going to fall on your face Anna ji, because not once have I noticed you or your Lieutenants addressing me Anna ji. I think you are not even interested. You are mesmerized by your own self obsession of bringing in the "2nd. battle of Independence"; of being the GANDHI that you are not. The saddest part is that you don't even know that you are a prisoner already. I think, as I said in my earlier anguished expression, the flash bulbs and the TV cameras have gotten to you a little too much.

Yes sir; I'm also the ever bumbling DESEEMORON. 

No comments:

Post a Comment